On Virginity, Continence, Matrimony, and the Use of Marriage
A Treatise According to Holy Scripture and the Church Fathers
Chapter I: On the Perfection of Virginity
It is manifest, beloved, from the witness of Holy Scripture and the testimony of the holy Fathers, that virginity and perpetual continence are the most perfect and honorable state of the faithful; for in virginity the soul is undivided, the mind lifted from earthly cares, the flesh subdued, and the spirit prepared for the incorruptible life of the angels, while the eyes of the heart are opened to behold the vision of the Most High. Our Lord, in His ineffable wisdom, calls all who hear Him to this higher life, showing that the nuptial state of this present life is temporary, ordained for the weakness of the flesh, and permitted to those who cannot restrain concupiscence, yet never enjoining it as the measure of perfection. The faithful who enter matrimony do so out of infirmity, not from the desire of holiness, not as the pinnacle of virtue, but as a merciful concession to the frailty of man’s nature.
Christ Himself declares: “In the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage” (Matthew 22:30), revealing the eternal order of the kingdom, in which the angelic life is uninterrupted, pure, and free; and again He bids: “He who is able to receive this, let him receive it” (Matthew 19:12), offering the evangelical counsel of continence to all, that each soul may ascend above the slavery of the passions and aspire to the angelic life, wherein concupiscence is wholly restrained and the heart rests in God alone. The Apostle Paul confirms this calling: “I would that all men were even as I myself am” (1 Corinthians 7:7), teaching that virginity is the higher state, freely offered to all, and that matrimony, though blessed, is granted only to those whose flesh is not yet subdued by the Spirit.
Chapter II: On Matrimony and the Use of the Nuptial Bed
To the married the Apostle writes: “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2). Here the carnal use of the nuptial bed is permitted as a concession to weakness, that none may fall into sin, a lawful indult for those who cannot resist the desires of the flesh. Yet he exhorts that the faithful may abstain by mutual consent for a season, that they may devote themselves to fasting and prayer (1 Corinthians 7:5), practicing self-mastery even in wedlock. It is better, far better, for the faithful to live in perfect continence, restraining the passions of the flesh, for in abstinence the soul is lifted to God. And the nuptial bed, though lawful and excused for the procreation of children, is never to be esteemed as a good in itself, nor to be reckoned among the virtues, but only as a merciful concession to restrain concupiscence, an indult of mercy for the weak, never a measure of perfection, never a mark of the holy.
Chapter III: Virginity as the Proper and Highest State
The holy Fathers testify in accord with this teaching. St. Jerome declares: “While we honour matrimony, we esteem virginity more highly, for it is the child of matrimony” (Against Jovinian, I.3). St. Gregory of Nyssa writes: “Virginity restores the soul to the image of God and prepares it for the incorruptible life of the angels” (On Virginity, 2). St. John Chrysostom exhorts all, married and unmarried alike: “He who preserves his virginity keeps his soul free from the tyranny of the flesh, and in the freedom of the spirit approaches most nearly the angelic life” (Homilies on 1 Corinthians, Hom. 21). Thus virginity, perfect continence, and the restraint of concupiscence are the measure of the soul’s ascent; indulgence in passion is not permitted to raise man to the life of angels, for holiness is not in the flesh, but in the spirit.
Chapter IV: Matrimony and the Pursuit of Chastity
St. Augustine observes that matrimony possesses three goods: fidelity, offspring, and the bond of indissoluble union (De Bono Coniugali, I.6). Yet even within matrimony, the carnal act is excused only in the service of these goods and to restrain concupiscence: “The flesh must be subdued; that which is done for the procreation of children is excused, not praised” (De Nuptiis et Concupiscentia, I.27). Matrimony, then, is a merciful indult granted to the weak, that they might avoid fornication; yet the faithful are called to govern the passions, to restrain the nuptial bed, and to aspire always to chastity, for in Heaven there is no marriage, no giving or receiving in the nuptial bed, and all are wholly devoted to God in purity.
Chapter V: Chastity Within Matrimony
Even in matrimony, the faithful are exhorted to the angelic life. Spouses who abstain by mutual consent, whether for fasting, prayer, or devotion, imitate the holiness of virginity. The Apostle Paul exhorts: “That ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer” (1 Corinthians 7:5). St. Augustine observes: “When husband and wife abstain for devotion, they partake of the sanctity of virginity, though they remain in the state of matrimony” (De Nuptiis et Concupiscentia, II.23). St. John Chrysostom teaches: “When husband and wife live together as brother and sister, abstaining from carnal intercourse, they ascend to the most sublime holiness, for they surpass even marriage itself in virtue” (Homilies on 1 Corinthians, Hom. 21). Likewise, St. Jerome declares: “The renunciation of the nuptial bed by spouses is the highest form of wedlock; for such a union is not measured by the flesh, but by the spirit, and they who live thus are united in angelic perfection” (Epistulae, 22.6).
By restraining the nuptial bed, curbing concupiscence, and living in chastity, the faithful sanctify the body and approach the holiness proper to virginity, partaking now in the incorruptible life to which all the angels aspire. In this way, matrimony itself becomes a vessel of spiritual ascent: the husband and wife, living as brother and sister, become a mirror of heavenly purity, a sign of the victory of the spirit over the flesh, and a foretaste of the incorruptible life of the angels.
Chapter VI: Conclusion
From Holy Scripture and the holy Fathers it is evident that virginity and perpetual continence are the proper and most perfect state for all Christians. Matrimony, though holy and blessed, is granted only for the weak; the carnal use of the nuptial bed is excused solely for the procreation of children, never praised as a good in itself, never counted among the virtues, but permitted only as a merciful concession to restrain concupiscence. Yet all are called to perfect chastity, both in life and within matrimony, which is the fulfillment of the evangelical counsel. The universal call is plain: all are invited to live in continence, restrain the nuptial bed, and dedicate themselves wholly to God, that they may attain the incorruptible life of the angels and behold the eternal vision of the Most High.